a novel about
vanity, destiny,
and the choices we make

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Kathleen Shaputis

Randice-Lisa Altschul


CEO Lisa Michaels is barred from Heaven's Gate for having cosmetic surgeries and altering her destiny. She now must learn valuable lessons before she can reenter heaven.

   The puzzled look on his face felt disquieting. Lisa watched as Andrew moved through the archway and stepped up to a floating, Imax-theater-sized screen in the sky. Nothing connected to it, but Andrew busily monitored whatever showed on his side.
   “Lisa Randall, correct?”
   Lisa stood with feet planted firmly apart and one hand on her hip. “Lisa Randall Michaels for the last thirty-some years. A name that’s been written up in Newsweek often as well as splashed all over the Internet.” Her right toe tapped against the ground. Andrew’s continued silence unnerved her. “Do I revert back to my maiden name up here? I guess, otherwise it could be confusing for those women married more than once. The Elizabeth Taylor's of the world…”
   Andrew straightened his shoulders and came back toward her with a haughty air of conclusion. “I'm sorry, you're not Lisa Randall.”

Successful CEO Lisa Michaels thought a fatal heart attack at 60 her final obstacle. Once she arrived at Heaven, though, she couldn’t pass the scanning process. An annoying tuxedoed young man, Andrew, holding a clipboard with a wireless headset in one ear, stopped everything saying, “You forced your destiny by altering the body you were given.” He looked down at the clipboard. “Let’s see, nose job, breast enhancement, liposuction, and a face lift to name a few.” Andrew looked into her eyes. “I’m sorry, you can’t enter Heaven.”

Demanding to speak with his supervisor, Lisa finds herself in the presence of God who confirms Lisa has not fulfilled her life’s work. Given two choices either to return to physical form as a baby or become an influential spiritual presence who helps steer others on Earth away from a life of vanity, Lisa opts for the spiritual guide.

As Lisa journeys through many lively adventures on Earth, she slowly learns that all choices have consequences and the road ahead of her is more challenging than she ever imagined.

Sorry, You Can’t Enter Heaven is a fresh new take on empowerment and the choices we make in our lives.

Kathleen Shaputis is a ghostwriter, author, and speaker who lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband Bob. She is currently working on two other projects.

Randi Altschul, named by the World Intellectual Property Organization (WIPO) as one of the World’s Notable Inventors, is based on the East Coast.

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